For this blog, I chose my final essay to revise and post. Being a persuasive essay, it gave me the opportunity to pick a topic about which I am very passionate, educate others on this topic, and attempt to convince them to take action. I feel like this paper was a great culmination of all that I have learned in LA101H this semester. It was the ultimate test of rhetoric-- persuading someone to see something in the same way I see it.
In regards to revisions on this paper, I basically added more details to some of my weaker arguments. There were many places in which I would introduce an idea, then just leave it without explaining any more. I expanded on those areas a bit, and strengthened my thesis, as well. In my introduction, I ended with a quote from an interview about my topic, but never really stated what the problem was or what I wanted readers to get from my piece. I added a simple thesis statement telling my audience about the gravity of the problem about which I was writing, and what needed to happen in regards to such a problem.
Click here to view an unrevised copy of my Persuasive Essay.
Click here to view a revised copy of my Persuasive Essay.
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